Pee...Piss...Widdle...Piddle...Wee.

However you want to call it I am finding it ALL OVER THE HOUSE!

I went to sit on the couch but sat RIGHT on a damp spot - leaned in for a closer inspection... experiemental whiff - piss was on the couch! - Washed all the covers, my clothes that had sat on the "spot"...sprayed it with everything I could find....yuck. (still get whiffs every now and then).

A few days later - piss in the laundry basket ALL OVER THE DIRTY LAUNDRY! Thankgod it was the dirty laundry.  That same day I found a poo in my wardrobe.

I decided that it must be the cat.

Then on the next few visits from the kids there were numerous bed-wetting incidents....which got me thinking.......was it fair to be blaming all the pee incidents on the cat?  The cupboard poo, yes definetly - I couldn't imagine the kids taking the time and effort to sneak into my room, into my wardrobe to leave a little poo present.  Also, I couldn't imagine them pissing on the laundry - who does that?
But, the couch incident is a different matter - it's happened a couple of times now - and always when they've been visiting. And the smallest, who is only 3 and utterly adorable, is not completely toilet trained. She would rather hold on, and then quietly piddle where she sat, rather than miss out on any of the fun of the elder children.
Hmmmm, so I don't know what to do.  Whenever I see her squirming uncomfortably or holding on to her front I ask her, "Do you need to go to the toilet?" but am always met with the same, "No!" or the "I've just been" - which of course is a lie, unless there is the tell-tale wet patch on her pants, which then sends me into a quiet frenzy of tearing around the house to find what it is she just piddled on.

But then the other day, as I was cleaning the kids room, I found one of the kids draws (the younger two) had been pulled out and all the clothes pissed on....... Like someone had just pissed INTO THE DRAWER!!!?
And a few days befor that I found POO IN THE SHOWER!!!!

IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!  Three little poos in the shower tray and some poo smeared on the wall!!


WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?  IS THIS NORMAL? The poo in the shower can't be the cat - how the hell would she smear it all over the wall????

I'M LIVING IN A DEN OF FILTH! 
I'M FIGHTING A LOOSING BATTLE WITH CATS AND KIDS! 
I'M TERRIFIED AT WHAT I'M GOING TO FIND EACH DAY AND I DON'T KNOW WHO'S DOING IT!!!


ARE THEY TRYING TO DRIVE ME INSANE?