As I Age

I'm pretty sure that there is some serious chemical imbalance in my being.

I decided this just today as I was brushing my hair and noticed, to my horror, that the greys I had just dyed about two weeks ago are already showing through once more. It's horrible because I have quite dark brown hair so even ONE grey shows up easily. Anyway, "but this is normal for us all" you may be thinking. Well yes, but here is the freak thing. My arm hairs, which are always a lovely golden colour are now slowly, ever-so-slowly, changing to black!!!!!
I shall now use text speak (which I hate) to express my feelings:

WTF!!!!!! OMG!!!!!! OMGWTF!!!!!!! TISU!!!!!! [this is so unfair]

Hmmmm. Anyway - so I want some sort of herbal medicine that reverses all that malarky...if I still have enough melanin in my body to produce black arm hairs then why can't it be diverted up to my head hair follicles??? And is the word Melanin? Cause I'm not a scientist. Or umm....biologist???

Anyhoo. Those are my feelings on the subject. To cheer myself up I have been looking through old photos and found one of snow woman complete with pine cone boobs! Hilarious!!! Looks a little like that boyle woman who was on Britains Got Talent...